I know I say this a lot, but I really do have a lot on my mind right now. With this big move looming upon me, my mind's been in a constant state of fret. What is to become of my education? I really don't understand the UC system...why apply for transfer once you're already in? Who's to say that one is better than the next? Maybe I'm too easygoing. It just dawned on me today that once I graduate, the word "SOCIOLOGY" will be plastered across my $100,000 diploma. I don't know why this disappointed me. I feel the need to do something more exciting. I need some more spice, more pizazz, more excitement. Film school? Its always been a desire of mine. I want to do good. But I want to have fun. I need to have fun. I want to pay the bills. I want the two kids and the Infiniti. I want that garden. A man came up to me today at work and asked why he hadn't seen me in a while. I told him about work, and school, and the dreaded 14-unit load and 30-hour week...and his mind was blown...yet it feels so second-nature to me. The funny thing is, though, I find myself working, and working, and working, and studying, and studying, and studying...but for what? What's to come out of all this in the end? I wonder. I just can't help but feel scared, anxious, but most of all, hopeful. God-willing, if you're out there, that is.


I've got a lot on my mind. Please excuse the mess.