*Sigh*

Who am I kidding? I just want things back to normal again. But you fucking moved on just as I had fallen for you all over again. Why? What the fuck did I do wrong? Absolutely nothing. You just found someone new. The evidence is out there for the whole world to see. Why? What does she have to offer you that I didn't give to you? I did nothing wrong. I fucked up...but I redeemed myself, dammit. I did the right thing. I made plans. I had such big plans. Why did you have to lie to me? I just wish I could get inside your head, inside your heart, and scale the place until it started to make some sense. I'd pull out my blue sheets of mapping paper and my thin piece of white chalk and try my hardest to make a blueprint of sorts. Just be honest with me, dammit. I don't deserve to be lied to, regardless of what's conspired. You need to come forth. Tell me why. I need closure. At least give me that.

Shame on me...I saw it coming. But I said nothing. I just forced myself to believe that things were as amazing as I had wanted them to be. I just want to be comfortable again. I want to love again.

Same shit as always.