Summer wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be working eight hard hours a day in the Brantley/Davis lab, followed by countless boyfriend dates. I was going to find a way back to Santa Barbara, while wasting my days away with the high school friends I left behind. What happened? I can't help but feel pangs of jealousy when I log onto facebook and everyone's status references good ol' UCSB. Oh God, how I envy. I want that education. I want that degree. I want to learn. I can't stand to see those who are lucky enough to fulfill this dream without any financial worry whatsoever--they don't see how good they've got it. They take it for granted, they fail to recognize just how very blessed they are to go to school where they want and, more importantly, where they deserve to go. I want so badly to have everything in order, the way I planned for it to be--the way I worked hard and diligently for. Its not fair. Life's not fair and its a damn hard-learned lesson. Regardless of whether or not I'll be returning to my lovely home by the sea, where I feel relaxed and at ease, I've learned a lot this year--College does not equal knowledge. Lack of formal education does not illegitimize your status as a knowledgable human being. Struggle will either make you or break you and each decision in life will be accompanied by a pleasantly (or not) surprising consequence. And most importantly, I've learned that no matter where life takes me, or what I decide is best for me...I'm going to be okay, regardless of whatever sacrifice that decision entails.