"But hell, the only constant in this life is change. Always has been, always will be. Time presses onward regardless of our wishes. Might as well accept it. There's nothing we can do." - Ascher Robbins

Thanks, pal. I miss you. Can't wait to stay up until some ungodly hour next year as we study for Phil 4. Should be a blast, huh?

Ahh school...I miss it. Kept my mind occupied. I actually felt like I was working for something important. Not like all the time wasted this summer on these stupid, irrelevant emotions of mine. Ugh. What's wrong with me? How did I let myself get to this level--this level of self-defeat? I always told myself I'd be a big girl if/when this time ever came. Well, its here and I don't think I'm doing so-great-of-a-job being the "big girl" I thought I'd be. Usually I can make it through the day just fine--its just hard at night. That's when it stings the most. For the first time in my life I have trouble sleeping. I lay awake with ten million things going through my head. I guess it just takes some getting used to. "Might as well accept it", eh?

I don't understand you. I don't think I ever will. I miss you, but at the same time, the mere thought of you turns my stomach. I start to feel sick. I'll never understand how you manage to look yourself in the mirror and pat yourself on the back for finally "maturing", as you like to call it. Well, I suppose it was right about time for you to hatch from that uncool, irrational cocoon of yours anyway. When it comes down to it, despite all the anger, jealousy, and fits of rage I try my best to fight off, I'm happy. Happy for you, and much, much happier for myself. You got what you wanted. And I got what I needed.

And I'll be just fine.