Natalie, how I miss you so.

Dearest Natalie,
Oh, how I miss us.

Love,
Brandi

disclaimer22 (12:22:21 AM): she's sexually ambiguous.

disclaimer22 (12:22:30 AM): an enigma, if you will.

nattiexpoo (12:22:40 AM): mmm mmhmm.

nattiexpoo (12:22:44 AM): i do concur

disclaimer22 (12:23:07 AM): yes, concur!

disclaimer22 (12:23:09 AM): and join me!

disclaimer22 (12:23:16 AM): in the land of foggy london town!

disclaimer22 (12:23:22 AM): and we'll flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

disclaimer22 (12:23:28 AM): come fly with me, come fly with me!

nattiexpoo (12:23:41 AM): wow

disclaimer22 (12:24:20 AM): what are you wowing?

nattiexpoo (12:24:31 AM): you and your explosion

...

disclaimer22 (12:25:18 AM): "few people wouild want to be observed communicating in natural settings - as they eat, cook, watch tv, feed the cat, have sex, work, play sports, and generally carry on their daily routines".

disclaimer22 (12:25:27 AM): there's an actual quote from my comm book.

disclaimer22 (12:25:32 AM): i think its madness.

disclaimer22 (12:25:39 AM): i'd love to be watched...

disclaimer22 (12:25:40 AM):

disclaimer22 (12:25:44 AM): feeding the cat, that is.

nattiexpoo (12:25:50 AM): oh of course

nattiexpoo (12:25:55 AM): in the nude

disclaimer22 (12:26:00 AM): while having sex.

nattiexpoo (12:26:04 AM): yes, yes

disclaimer22 (12:26:07 AM): and playing sports

nattiexpoo (12:26:07 AM): thats a given

disclaimer22 (12:26:12 AM): lacrosse, to be exact.

nattiexpoo (12:26:18 AM): excellent

disclaimer22 (12:26:26 AM): care to join me?

nattiexpoo (12:26:33 AM): i prefer croquet actually

nattiexpoo (12:26:37 AM): if thats even a sport

nattiexpoo (12:26:42 AM): more of a game...

nattiexpoo (12:26:46 AM): but it works all the same

disclaimer22 (12:27:04 AM): oh yes...croquet!

disclaimer22 (12:27:11 AM): what a mighty fine game!

disclaimer22 (12:27:17 AM): sport*

disclaimer22 (12:27:28 AM): i watch croquet at BJs all the time.

disclaimer22 (12:27:34 AM): wednesday nights.

disclaimer22 (12:27:45 AM): i order a pitcher for myself.

disclaimer22 (12:27:51 AM): and croquet the night away.

nattiexpoo (12:28:04 AM): i like to have flamingos present...

nattiexpoo (12:28:18 AM): sort of fetish of mine, i suppose

disclaimer22 (12:28:25 AM): fetish?

disclaimer22 (12:28:31 AM): oh, do explain!

...

nattiexpoo (1:08:47 AM): anyway...

nattiexpoo (1:08:51 AM): so whats new with you?

disclaimer22 (1:09:23 AM): uhhh

disclaimer22 (1:09:44 AM): i started mapping out my life today on some loose-leaf paper

disclaimer22 (1:09:53 AM): college-ruled, since i'm in college now.

disclaimer22 (1:09:58 AM): i have to use good paper.

disclaimer22 (1:10:06 AM): but anywho...back to my point...

nattiexpoo (1:10:18 AM): hehe

disclaimer22 (1:10:23 AM): started looking into this whole film studies business, too (we're like twins)

disclaimer22 (1:10:34 AM): and then in med school, too.

disclaimer22 (1:10:40 AM): i can't make up my mind about anything.

disclaimer22 (1:10:54 AM): so i started scribbling down all these possible classes for next quarter.

disclaimer22 (1:11:06 AM): and although i felt good for getting it all done, it kind of freaked me out.

nattiexpoo (1:11:20 AM): how so?

disclaimer22 (1:11:47 AM): just the fact that i'm inching near...a career.

disclaimer22 (1:11:49 AM): you know?

disclaimer22 (1:11:58 AM): in high school, my focus was college.

disclaimer22 (1:12:10 AM): and now my focus is grad school...and a stable career.

disclaimer22 (1:12:13 AM): life is just so funny.

nattiexpoo (1:12:27 AM): imagine how i feel..i feel like im late in the game

disclaimer22 (1:13:04 AM): and then i looked at my planner (who would've thought i'd be one to use a planner), and its packed. this whole concept of time is just so strange to me.

disclaimer22 (1:13:23 AM): there just doesn't seem to be enough for all that i want to do.

nattiexpoo (1:14:00 AM): that must be a horriblel feeling: time not being there.

disclaimer22 (1:15:31 AM): and then i get to thinking, "why do i want to do this?" and it drives me insane when the only explanation i can think of is "because its fun" or "because i like it". i know that those should both be valid reasons...ideally, we want a career that's going to make us happy, right? but sometimes i wonder if those reasons alont suffice. or if i'm just being selfish and not doing enough to contribute to humanity.

disclaimer22 (1:15:48 AM): alone*

nattiexpoo (1:15:57 AM): i know exactly how you feel

disclaimer22 (1:16:04 AM): i think too much.

disclaimer22 (1:16:12 AM): we've got too much going on in our heads.

nattiexpoo (1:16:15 AM): possibly

nattiexpoo (1:18:43 AM): of course your theory and explaination is more educated than mine is.
mine is more of a statement like "what the hell?" followed by a hour of tears before drifting off to sleep after reading the third book of the twilight saga,
or sometimes i get into a very philosophical funk and then you cant shut me up. but of course i have no one to talk to because everyone is sleeping, so i end up writing a five page theory, that is ideal for a college class; worthy of an A i tell you!!

nattiexpoo (1:18:58 AM): or there is the typical cryptic poetry. my form of course

disclaimer22 (1:19:33 AM): you're good at it, though.

disclaimer22 (1:19:40 AM): i think this time off of school is good for you.

disclaimer22 (1:19:52 AM): look at it in a more flattering light.

disclaimer22 (1:19:54 AM): time to read.

disclaimer22 (1:19:58 AM): time to think and go insane.

disclaimer22 (1:20:05 AM): and time to cure yourself via writing.

disclaimer22 (1:20:18 AM): i would just gain fifty pounds and play the sims all day.

disclaimer22 (1:20:26 AM): you seem to be relatively productive.

nattiexpoo (1:20:28 AM): haha i forgot about that game

nattiexpoo (1:21:36 AM): i believe you are right. i swear, i dont think i have ever thought about things so passionately before. and i read! oh, how i read! i read more that i have ever in my life. ive never been so inspired too! all i want to do is paint.

nattiexpoo (1:21:58 AM): i tend to write a lot more now. a hell of a lot. my mom likes to read the crap i come up with. she questions me on everything.

disclaimer22 (1:22:06 AM): haha

disclaimer22 (1:22:19 AM): i think you're really talented.

disclaimer22 (1:22:31 AM): really, you have a way with words.

nattiexpoo (1:22:39 AM): im seriously trying. trying for anything...just so i can say i have something

disclaimer22 (1:23:04 AM): keep on trying.

...

nattiexpoo (1:39:41 AM): those books kick ass

disclaimer22 (1:39:56 AM): ehh

disclaimer22 (1:39:59 AM): that's what i hear.

disclaimer22 (1:40:11 AM): i don't know how well i can take all that emotion, though.

disclaimer22 (1:40:16 AM): i'm getting used to being a rock.

disclaimer22 (1:40:18 AM): /a man.

nattiexpoo (1:40:31 AM): i wish i were that

disclaimer22 (1:40:34 AM): and i really don't want to undo my mental sex change now.

nattiexpoo (1:40:41 AM): haha

nattiexpoo (1:41:27 AM): im kind of stuck between a hopeless romantic and a cynical , shallow bitch

disclaimer22 (1:41:32 AM): lol

disclaimer22 (1:41:44 AM): that's an odd place to be in.

nattiexpoo (1:41:49 AM): it is

disclaimer22 (1:41:51 AM): but i'm the same way.

disclaimer22 (1:42:14 AM): i want to live passionately and make sweet love all day every day to the man of my dreams

disclaimer22 (1:42:49 AM): but then i want nothing to do with men, except for the occassional booty call, and live in my beach-front apartment amongst my ferrets.

disclaimer22 (1:42:50 AM): and cats.

nattiexpoo (1:42:58 AM): i honestly dont think "that one person for me" exists

disclaimer22 (1:43:07 AM): neither do i.

nattiexpoo (1:43:11 AM): haha thats the life, man!

...

nattiexpoo (1:45:15 AM): i think i need to focus on me for a while

nattiexpoo (1:45:35 AM): cram my days and nights with work so i dont have to ponder thoughts like this anymore

disclaimer22 (1:45:46 AM): i think as human beings, we tend to neglect ourselves a little. we get too wrapped up in life.

nattiexpoo (1:45:55 AM): mmhmm

disclaimer22 (1:45:59 AM): what are you talking about?

disclaimer22 (1:46:02 AM): keep writing.

disclaimer22 (1:46:12 AM): keep on with the self-reflection.

disclaimer22 (1:46:16 AM): not enonugh people do it.

disclaimer22 (1:46:20 AM): enough*

nattiexpoo (1:46:28 AM): ill tell you why..

nattiexpoo (1:46:32 AM): it hurts like hell

disclaimer22 (1:46:42 AM): amen to that.

disclaimer22 (1:46:52 AM): but this is how we learn to cope with things, within ourselves.

disclaimer22 (1:47:07 AM): this is how we learn to be self-sufficient and to understand ourselves better.

disclaimer22 (1:47:49 AM): it takes a life time, but i'd much rather spend a few hours out of my day day dreaming than to come to 40 and not have a clue as to who i am.

nattiexpoo (1:48:05 AM): true

nattiexpoo (1:48:10 AM): i see your point

nattiexpoo (1:48:26 AM): in that case..ill keep writing for you, for myself...for all humanity.

nattiexpoo (1:48:36 AM): cause God knows, we probably need it

disclaimer22 (1:48:45 AM): so many people get so caught up in the hustle and bustle that they forget to stop and ask themselves why they do it in the first place.

disclaimer22 (1:48:49 AM): we do. we're cooky.

disclaimer22 (1:49:04 AM): we're weird.

disclaimer22 (1:49:18 AM): but i love being weird with you. i miss it so much.

nattiexpoo (1:49:27 AM): oh, man i know!

nattiexpoo (1:49:35 AM): you dont know how much i miss you

disclaimer22 (1:49:57 AM): i miss you, nattie.

disclaimer22 (1:49:58 AM): really.

nattiexpoo (1:50:14 AM): omg.. you are going to get me all emotional now

disclaimer22 (1:50:23 AM): i miss our heart-to-hearts. i never opened up to anyone like i opened up to you.

disclaimer22 (1:50:31 AM): haha i know. sorry, i'm pms-ing.

nattiexpoo (1:50:41 AM): well...

nattiexpoo (1:50:46 AM): im glad you did open up to me

nattiexpoo (1:51:01 AM): i feell...honored...in a way that you have and that you feel like you can.

disclaimer22 (1:51:09 AM): and i'm so grateful that you were there for me.

nattiexpoo (1:51:27 AM): i didnt want you to ever feel like i would judge you harshly. thats something i would never do

nattiexpoo (1:51:51 AM): im always here for you. even though im a couple states away

disclaimer22 (1:52:12 AM): i know. and i'm here for you, too.

disclaimer22 (1:52:20 AM): i can't wait to see you again and catch up.

nattiexpoo (1:52:25 AM): i know

disclaimer22 (1:52:49 AM): soon, soon.

nattiexpoo (1:53:02 AM): gah, lets hope. i got to find a job.

disclaimer22 (1:53:08 AM): so do i.

nattiexpoo (1:53:46 AM): i think i just might lower myself to being a mechanic at my dads job. im not saying that they are below me, i respect those men and women so much...its just not me.

disclaimer22 (1:54:10 AM): i know what you mean.

disclaimer22 (1:54:19 AM): stater bros. definitely wasn't "me" haha

disclaimer22 (1:54:25 AM): look where it got me...

nattiexpoo (1:54:35 AM): i still think its better than a mechanic

disclaimer22 (1:54:38 AM): but you gotta do what you gotta do.

disclaimer22 (1:54:58 AM): just make some money. be the system's bitch for a while.

nattiexpoo (1:55:32 AM): "hi, my name is natalie...i like every classification of art, adore traveling, and i write like a typewriter. oh, and did i mention im a mechanic?"

disclaimer22 (1:56:16 AM): "and a temporary bitch to the system?"

disclaimer22 (1:56:18 AM): hahahahahhaha

nattiexpoo (1:56:21 AM): that sounds like a Debussy piece in the beginning and turns into a dirge.

disclaimer22 (1:56:39 AM): claude debussy?

nattiexpoo (1:56:44 AM): yes ma'am

disclaimer22 (1:56:49 AM): he's amazing.

disclaimer22 (1:56:59 AM): listen to "reverie". i escape in that song.

nattiexpoo (1:57:06 AM): i have it on my ipod

nattiexpoo (1:57:15 AM): i listen to it almost everynight while i try to sleep

disclaimer22 (1:57:24 AM): that's eery.

disclaimer22 (1:57:28 AM): i told you we're sisters.

disclaimer22 (1:57:31 AM): practically.

nattiexpoo (1:57:39 AM): *nodds

nattiexpoo (1:57:44 AM): its basically it

nattiexpoo (1:57:47 AM): no fighting it

disclaimer22 (1:57:49 AM): how i miss you sooooooo

disclaimer22 (1:57:49 AM): haha

disclaimer22 (1:57:55 AM): really. i love that song.

nattiexpoo (1:58:00 AM): mmhmm its beautiful

nattiexpoo (1:58:30 AM): i think Freddy Chopin is one of my faves

disclaimer22 (1:58:51 AM): he is amazing.

disclaimer22 (1:58:59 AM): his music is so dark.

disclaimer22 (1:59:11 AM): he's like the depeche mode of classical pianists haha

nattiexpoo (1:59:16 AM): haha

disclaimer22 (2:00:04 AM): i love depeche mode.

disclaimer22 (2:00:12 AM): i take my clothes off when they're on.

disclaimer22 (2:00:23 AM): i did it at albertson's the other day.

nattiexpoo (2:00:26 AM): ...i was going to mention in a could seconds ago...

disclaimer22 (2:00:30 AM): they weren't too pleased about that...

nattiexpoo (2:00:39 AM): i know nothing of depeche mode

nattiexpoo (2:00:46 AM): i must be a heathen

disclaimer22 (2:01:07 AM): no, you're not.

disclaimer22 (2:01:14 AM): just download "world in my eyes".

disclaimer22 (2:01:24 AM): that has to be one of the most erotic songs in the world.

disclaimer22 (2:01:25 AM): ahhhhhhhhh

disclaimer22 (2:01:27 AM): amazing.

nattiexpoo (2:01:36 AM): hmm well then.

nattiexpoo (2:01:37 AM): i shall

nattiexpoo (2:01:46 AM): im all for eroticism

nattiexpoo (2:01:54 AM): omg. i have a perfect job for you!!

disclaimer22 (2:01:56 AM): oh yes.

disclaimer22 (2:01:58 AM): what is it?

nattiexpoo (2:02:13 AM): okay...you are probably going to think im making this shit up...

disclaimer22 (2:02:18 AM): hahah

disclaimer22 (2:02:22 AM): just spit it out

nattiexpoo (2:02:27 AM): and it is going to definitely sound like i am..but its 100% true

disclaimer22 (2:02:38 AM): lol ok

nattiexpoo (2:02:49 AM): up here...when you are driving around the city there are these little huts that pop up here and there.

nattiexpoo (2:03:03 AM): and im not joking..they are like huts..little shacks

nattiexpoo (2:03:10 AM): they sell coffee...espresso.

disclaimer22 (2:03:11 AM): ooo

nattiexpoo (2:03:13 AM): only...

nattiexpoo (2:03:29 AM): its only girls who sell it and they wear nothing but underwear and pasties

nattiexpoo (2:03:33 AM): i kid you not

disclaimer22 (2:03:41 AM): WHAT THE HELL?!

disclaimer22 (2:03:44 AM): HAHAHA!

disclaimer22 (2:03:50 AM): why in the world would they do that?!

disclaimer22 (2:03:52 AM): lmao

nattiexpoo (2:04:00 AM): in a friggin blizzard!! snowing flakes bigger than your head, icicles hanging off of your nose hairs and they are there

disclaimer22 (2:04:18 AM): snow flakes the size of their nipples.

disclaimer22 (2:04:26 AM): maybe the pasties are snowflakes

nattiexpoo (2:04:26 AM): hahaha

nattiexpoo (2:04:35 AM): quite possibly

disclaimer22 (2:04:37 AM): wow

disclaimer22 (2:04:40 AM): that sounds amazing

disclaimer22 (2:04:43 AM): i want to do it.

nattiexpoo (2:04:46 AM): but they are always having job openings on craigslist

nattiexpoo (2:05:00 AM): ..and their coffee isnt half bad

nattiexpoo (2:05:07 AM): so theres a bonus

disclaimer22 (2:05:24 AM): you should apply!

nattiexpoo (2:05:31 AM): haha omg no. people wouldnt come

disclaimer22 (2:05:59 AM): lmao

nattiexpoo (2:06:01 AM): plus i probably wouldnt play well with the other bitches here

...

disclaimer22 (2:14:37 AM): she's got it bad

disclaimer22 (2:14:41 AM): the ghetto, that is.

disclaimer22 (2:14:47 AM): anywho...i'm gonna hit the hay

disclaimer22 (2:14:57 AM): love you, i'll call you soon, k?

disclaimer22 (2:15:03 AM): b'bye, sweet cheeks

nattiexpoo (2:15:06 AM): definitely, please do.

nattiexpoo (2:15:22 AM): i love you too and thank you so very much

disclaimer22 (2:15:30 AM): love you too

disclaimer22 (2:15:35 AM): no prob

disclaimer22 (2:15:41 AM): that's what i'm here for.

disclaimer22 (2:15:47 AM): night~!

nattiexpoo (2:15:50 AM): ni nite