Currently:

So I've been up here in SB for a total of four weeks now...went by fast. This transition has been an intense one...but, believe it or not, I do believe I have grown up quite a bit (in some aspects) since I've been here. Last night was pivotal. All week long I had been feeling low, uncertain, guilty, ashamed, confused, heartbroken. I acted on impulse, followed my instincts, in hopes of gaining a sense of closure...

..and at last, it came to me. I smiled. Genuinely, for the first time in a long time. I felt as if the ghost that had been haunting me had at last dissolved into midair. I felt free.

I had been blindly chasing this feeling for quite some time now...who knew I'd at last achieve this sense of freedom and individuality by such means? God does work in mysterious ways. I've learned my lesson. I'm moving on. I've forgiven him. But more importantly, I'm forgiving myself. I want to fall in love with myself all over again. I'd been feeling so empty lately, like I had lost all sense of my being. Little did I know, he'd been here at my side all along, constantly, persistently, lovingly.


I love you, Sean Trevor Evans. My one true friend. My heart is yours.