...by far.
Shame
Guilt
...mixed in with some cops...
...and that empty hollow feeling you get in your throat that leads all the way down to your stomach.
But I suppose God acts in...mysterious ways.
What happened on that fateful Saturday morning (it was about 12:36 AM) could not have happened any other way. Though, I really wish it could have. I've lost it. I've lost it all. And there's not a chance in hell that things will ever be the same. Part of me is grateful. Part of me wants to rejoice. Part of me wants to jump for joy, sing a song, and just move on. At last, its over. The weight of making a "decision", of facing my family...its all over now.
But then there's that other part of me. That part that wants to crawl into a deep hole, hide away from the world and never ever come out. I don't want to move on. I want to run away from here...with him. Forget everything, forgive and move forward.
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